Exciting news…

posted by Nick Hornby May 12, 2010 at 1:06 pm Books ,

I have been nominated by the American Biographical Institute, Inc “to receive the GOLD MEDAL FOR ENGLAND (their caps), in the name of your people and England.” My acceptance, the ABI tells me, will solidify my achievements “into tangible form – an elegant showpiece for any home or office … Every eye that is cast upon the plaque will immediately perceive the profundity of your impression on your country.”  I am, as you can imagine, both flattered and honoured, although there doesn’t seem to be a ceremony celebrating the achievement; I accept by post, and the medal will be sent by return. I have to accompany my acceptance with a cheque for $295, presumably to cover the Institute’s administration costs, but still … And those who wonder how the American Biographical Institute are capable of judging the profundity of my impression on my country can get stuffed. If they can see it from all the way over there, then, like the Great Wall of China, it’s probably visible from space.